Tuesday, May 27, 2008

stagefright

I think that it would be an awesomely fun date to go to a karaoke bar and watch people sing. I've never been to a real one--you know, the ones in white people movies, with a proper stage for public humiliation. You know, like in "My Best Friend's Wedding," where the once-attractive Cameron Diaz sang "I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself" terribly, or in that treacly movie I just saw, "P.S. I Love You," where the extremely attractive Gerard Butler sang "Mustang Sally" with aplomb and brio.

However, knowing that TD would probably force me on stage prevents me from ever seriously suggesting this. Knowing also that his singing/performance skills vastly upstage mine also make me hate the idea of women throwing panties at him when he inevitably rocks the mike singing some Tom Petty song. My preference is for a no rae bang, where humiliation is private and shared among sympathetic, similarly drunk and badly singing friends. Occasionally, there will be an awesome singer, but it is unanimously acknowledged that the truly talented who hog the mike are just showoffs. It is the time for the craptastic singers to shine--drunk on soju, and foolishly believing that the door and thin walls are sufficient to muffle their bad singing and conceal their humiliation. I have a lot of good memories of singing George Michael's "Faith" with more irony than talent. Also, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," with me singing the Neil Diamond part. Seriously, I can't sing. Weak, thin voice, can't hit the proper notes, can't go high, so I tend to sing the male parts of songs and hum off-key.

How about you guys? Who among you has gotten up on stage at a karaoke bar? Who among you with no talent, pitch, tone, or chutzpah has done it? Should I bite the bullet and do it? Should one risk public humiliation at least once in life, just because it's good to do something out of your comfort zone and have fun with it?

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