I Hate

The person Liberal College Law stupidly left in charge at the Advanced Law Degree Office after the previous director left. This person sent in my change-of-degree form late to the wrong division at the Registrar's Office with the wrong law school assistant dean's signature. This person is incompetent AND curiously unwilling to do anything. And I hate that this person is now on vacation, such that this person's assistant finally corrected my status yesterday, finally enabling me to register for courses.

But not before all my financial aid awards were dropped.

Including my grant, which apparently I am not eligible for anyway.

So now I'm back to loans.

Nor before I was assessed repayment for previous loans, as deferment requires that you be currently registered.

I hate this person, and I hate that our office is some under-funded, badly staffed dinky operation within the law school, and that the law school is so separte from the wider campus that they seem to communicate by Morse code or else finger puppetry.

When TC is mad, she wishes varying degrees of physical pain on her object of disaffection. The continuum ranges from stubbed toes to leprosy.

When I am mad, I want to engage and then kick their ass in some form of combat, ranging from thumb war to arm wrestling to Highlander dueling to outright war involving weapons of mass destruction. (Such bizarre fantasies help me control my temper in real life, when I am quite the nice and civil person).

For example, I want to declare war using Medieval catapults on the Advanced Law Degree office right now. I would say in my best Braveheart voice, "They may take away my financial aid...but they'll never take my freeeeeedooom!!" But look, I have shifted the anger away from this incompetent person to the entire office, so next time I see this person I will not want to arm wrestle them into the ground until they scream "Uncle! Uncle!" I tend to do that--when I am mad at a person, I become mad at what they represent. Here, bureaucracy and the institutional second class citizen status of advanced law students.

And because I am intractably mad at one French person right now and do not think I am ever going to be able to forgive or friend this person again, I wish I could, as a private citizen with no other power than my power as a taxpayer and voter, declare war on France. I think it's because I wish I could write off the crappy treatment and solipsism as being endemic to the French excruciatingly romantic and melodramatic way of thinking and living. Somehow, with all of my life's trauma growing up, I managed to conduct myself responsibly, and not act like a total jerk to the people in my life. Yet I think it's more to do with this French person's rather selfish and immature nature. But I'd like to blame France, if only to make the situation salvagable. Alas, I do not think it is or ever will be. So I guess since I can't declare war on France (damn Article II), I will just have to let go of the situation and let go of the friendship. Sigh. The air is thick with the smoke from my burning bridges.

Post on that subject to follow.