1. My uncle once told me that I should be a nurse because women can't make it as lawyers.
2. Never in my life have I wanted to run for political office. (agreed with New Kid)
3. When I was five I practiced my English by watching professional wrestling on TV, with my parents' approval.
4. High school was mostly unremarkable, and I spent half of it at MUN conferences and taking college classes and going to only two high school dances stag because no one asked me out.
5. I will never forget lying on the snowy bank of Lake Tahoe at night, talking to each other quietly, and me trying to resist saying "this is just like Eternal Sunshine! We are so unoriginal!" which would have ruined the moment, which was lovely.
6. Once I met Derrida. That was pretty cool. I also met Alan Simpson, who was much nicer than I expected.
7. There’s this boy I know who's my nephew. I don't know that many boys.
8. Once, at a bar, I played Scrabble and lost. I don't have any good bar stories.
9. By noon, I’m usually trying to stay awake after a morning of blog reading and vague attempts at working.
10. Last night I went to bed early while he was working and taking care of the dog.
11. If only I had more discipline.
12. "Next time I go to church" is not a phrase I would typically utter, except to demonstrate the future tense to religious international student.
13. What worries me most is something I'm not supposed to be thinking about right now.
14. When I turn my head left I see my couch, whose comfy bed I'm trying to resist.
15. When I turn my head right I see a picture of us at a picnic, next to a spindle of DVDs.
16. You know I’m lying when I say "I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes."
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is the music. Fortunately, you can still hear it everywhere.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be some pathetic combination of Viola, Cordelia, Gonerill, and unfortunately, Hamlet. No fucking way to Ophelia.
19. By this time next year I will be halfway done with the dissertation. I hope.
20. A better name for me would be "The Zeitgeist Avenger", but then again that'd be a better name for everyone.
21. I have a hard time understanding most of the peccadilloes of the legal academy.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll have class at 10 am this Monday.
23. You know I like you if I ask you over for a dinner party.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be whoever first taught me whatever it was the award was for.
25. Take my advice, never try to change your parents.
26. My ideal breakfast is bacon, eggs, and homemade blueberry pancakes with OJ and coffee.
27. A song I love but do not have is Coolio's "Too Hot." Admit it, you love it too.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest that you have a high tolerance for strip malls and suburban ennui.
29. Why won’t people step to one side of the sidewalk rather than walk it four abreast? Grrr.
30. If you spend a night at my house you will sleep on my Ikea futon, but there will be fresh muffins in the morning.
31. I’d stop my wedding for nothing too bridezilla-y, but then again I plan to get hitched at City Hall in a short dress. I constantly astound people with my occasionally simple desires and hatred of musicals. Do I come off that princessy and overdone? Just because I bake from scratch and wear dresses a lot?
32. The world could do without the obsession with celebrity culture.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than watch talking heads punditry.
34. My favorite blondie is The Screenwriter.
35. Paper clips are more useful than my most kitchen gadgets.
36. If I do anything well it’s procrastinating.
37. I can’t help but lick batter from my fingers.
38. I usually cry at sappy romantic movies, because I am less of a cynical badass than I say I am. Did I sob at The Notebook? Oh yes, I did.
39. My advice to my nephew/niece is to do well in college, so that you too, can move away from home.
40. And by the way, cleaning an apartment from top to bottom really sucks.